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| It's snowing some weird shit in August. |
So, I'm back in Seattle and I just can't help noticing how many dumb motherfuckers are still snorting "coke", like, constantly. The Stranger broke this national story months ago but for those of us who still have problems getting through the "big" sentences let me just break this shit down for you.
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| I'll be like this nice doctor and explain with pictures! |
Doing this ^ leads to this:
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| It likes to eat your face, btw. |
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| Don't forget to nair! |
Conclusion: doing coke is fucking retarded.
Don't be surprised when after a long night of snorting some quality coke you suddenly see your reflection in the mirror change from your beautiful face into fucking Blanca from Street Fighter. Time to electrocute yourself constantly in the most ill-conceived special attack ever.
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| From Sexy ass Chun-Li to this ugly prick. |
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| Damn. |
Turning from sexy ass Chun-Li to ugly ass Blanca all for some careless snorting and freebasing with the homies. Ain't that a bitch.
THE STORY IN BRIEF:
There were THREE front page articles in The Stranger about this horrifying new phenomenon, please, all those that can read, read this shit, it will blow your little mind apart if you have not yet read it. Here's a simple graph showing how Levamisole-tainted cocaine has exponentially increased in prevalence since 2005 when it was in a paltry 1.9% of the seized cocaine samples to 2009 where the shit is found in 73.2% of all the yayo seized:
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By now it's safe to assume that Levamisole is in basically EVERY bag of blow out there. Period. Recent estimations by people at The Stranger, DanceSafe, and a few harm reduction outfits in Seattle estimate that Levamisole is in roughly 85% of cocaine nationally and they believe the percentage is probably higher in Seattle.
So, this is a warning to all you people out there that are too fucking stupid to put down the straw and move on to a new drug: if you keep snorting blow you're going to turn into a fucking burn-unit freak through the lovely disease of agranulocytosis. BAD SHIT.
The End. And Thank God my guy keeps his nose candy FRESH.
Just kidding idiots.
